This time of year we usually gather with family and friends far and wide to enjoy the holidays.  The coronavirus pandemic has altered some of those traditional rituals we usually engage in around the holidays.

2020 forced most of us to look around and consider all the little blessings in our lives, (sometimes hiding in plain sight,) but in relative abundance once  we paid attention to them.

I hope you make your own gratitude list for the tiny miracles that bring you joy each day. It’s a practice worth doing and can improve your mood during a typically difficult time. What are you grateful for this year?

Nine in 10 adults derive happiness from small wonders such as a short line at the grocery store, a thoughtful text from a loved one, or a nice gesture from a stranger. Pay kindness forward to a passerby and you’ll find the benefits can be exponential.

The Top 50 Little Joys of 2020

1. Seeing your family
2. Seeing your friends
3. A hug
4. Receiving an unexpected money rebate or refund
5. Getting into bed with fresh sheets
6. Receiving a compliment
7. Getting a great bargain
8. A smile from a stranger
9. Seeing a great sunset or sunrise
10. Receiving an unexpected gift
11. Finding money in your pocket that you forgot about
12. Feeling the sun on your face in autumn
13. Birds singing in the morning
14. The smell of freshly cut grass
15. Receiving a call or text from a friend or family member
16. Ticking off something which has been on your to-do list for a while
17. Seeing a rainbow
18. Your favorite song coming on the radio
19. Crunching autumn leaves on a walk
20. A long weekend
21. Great customer service
22. No line at your favorite store 
23. Finishing a good book
24. Putting on comfy clothes at the end of the day
25. An unexpected ‘buy one get one free’ offer
26. When someone compliments you 
27. Someone holding a door open for you
28. That smell just after it has rained
29. Waking up early and realizing you have hours left to sleep
30. Receiving a card or letter rather than a text
31. Waking up and realizing it’s the weekend when you thought it was a weekday
32. The feeling after sorting a drawer or cupboard
33. Getting a quick reply to a customer service query
34. The satisfaction of eating a homegrown vegetable / home-baked bread
35. Keeping on top of your bills
36. Getting a better deal on your energy and saving money
37. Finding a forgotten stash of chocolate
38. A moment of peace in the bath
39. A quick chat with your neighbor
40. Paying off an outstanding bill
41. The satisfaction of clearing out your wardrobe
42. Taking a nap
43. Getting the last item before it sold out
44. Having all the right ingredients for a recipe in the cupboard already
45. Your hair looking good when you wake up
46. Completing a grocery run without forgetting anything
47. Discovering a new series on Netflix
48. Relief of knowing your bills won’t increase
49. Free WiFi
50. The smell of soil when gardening 

I am certain that, like me, you probably have a journal or two or ten lying around your place with pristine spines and pages.  You probably bought the notebook with great intentions or perhaps it was gifted to you by a friend or family member.  As the shelter-in-place continues and the weather gets colder, grab that journal, some colorful pens and a hot cup of cocoa.  Hopefully, one or more of these ideas might tickle your fancy and promote your creativity!

1. Gratitude Journal
2. Bullet Journal
3. Doodling Journal
4. Sketchbook
5. Habit Tracker
6. Wellness and Mood Tracker
7. Brush Lettering or Calligraphy Journal
8. Exercise Log
9. Medication Log
10. Food Log 
11. Weight Loss or Gain Journal
12. Gift Log
13. Nature Journal
14. Inspirational Quotes
15. Lists of 100
16. Dream Diary
17. Wedding or Event Planner
18. Vision Journal
19. Health Log
20. Gardening Journal
21. Hobby Journal
22. Memory Book
23. Affirmations
24. Morning Intentions
25. Spirituality Journal
26. Books To Read/Movies to Watch/ TV shows
27. New Restaurants to Try
28. Recipe Book
29. Blog Log
30. Expense Tracker
31. Vacation Vision Board
32. Travel Journal
33. Poetry Journal
34. Short Story Journal
35. Bucket List
36. Unsent Letters
37. Brainstorming Journal--Move your pen freely, go for as many ideas as you can.  
38. "What did I learn today?" or "What am I curious to learn tomorrow?"
39. Things You Want to Excel At
40. Relationship Journal--family, friends, lovers, co-workers, neighbors, etc.
41. Biggest Life Successes
42. Goals or Dreams You Want to Achieve
43. New Foods or Recipes You Want to Try
44. Adventures You Would Like To Have
45. Your Favorite Playlist
46. Favorite Plays or Musicals
47. Handwriting Practice
48. Ideas Notebook
49. Diary
50. Letters to Your Loved Ones
51. Wardrobe Book
52. Makeup or Hair Products Tracker List
53. Digital Media Content Keeper
54. Family History Information
55. Pet Book or Keeper
56. Local Places To Visit
57. Romantic ideas
58. Podcasts To Enjoy
59. Passwords Notebook--keep this one safe!
60. Songbook or Lyric book

Here we are six months into the shelter-in-place due to the COVID-19 pandemic.  Here are some fun and stimulating ways to get those mental gears moving during the Fall of 2020.
















​1.  Study a new language
Now is an excellent time to focus your attention on learning a new language.  With today's technology, learning a new language is easier than ever!  There are several free apps, like Duolingo and Babbel,  that help you to learn a new language.  All you need to do is select the app, download it, select the language you are most interested in learning, and dedicate some time each day to learning it. 

​6-tips-for-picking-up-another-language.html

2.  Start a new workout routine
Believe it or not, a great daily workout can help stimulate the mind.  Not only will you keep your brain active, but you will keep your body healthy and moving while sheltering at home.  Yoga, sprints, learning new dance moves, walking, biking, kayaking, tennis are all great options.  Make it fun!  
​
increasing-your-energy-when-you-are-sheltering-in-place.html

3.  Make some tea or hot chocolate
and work on a puzzle
Whether you prefer a rousing game of Sudoku or you are a master chess player, playing games helps to keep your mind stimulated and active.  Doing different puzzles will encourage you to use your brain in new ways.  

4.  Get outside
As we all know, fresh air and communing in nature is healthy for our minds, bodies, and souls.  Go for a nature walk and photograph interesting plants, explore a new nearby trail, do some gardening, or plant some new flowers or vegetables.

the-healing-power-of-gardens.html

5.  Give yourself permission to relax
While this may not seem like a way to stimulate your mind, rest is essential to mental stimulation and creativity.  Take a soothing bath, an afternoon nap, meditate for 10-15 minutes, or listen to relaxing acoustic music and find your mind and body rejuvenated.

mindfulness-apps-for-kids-and-teens.html

Being stuck inside can make you feel bored, frustrated, and completely exhausted, which might seem contradictory if you feel you haven't done anything aside from watching Netflix and make sourdough bread.  The constraints of the pandemic can make us feel sapped and drained.  Many people are wondering what they can do to maintain or increase their energy levels, while protecting themselves and their families from contracting the virus.

The changes in our routines, our mood, multiple Zoom meetings, and being bombarded with as much news as we allow ourselves to read or listen to are all adversely affecting everyone's sleep and energy.

When you feel more stressed as most of us feel during the pandemic, you are prone to also feel more exhausted.  The body responds to stress by staying in the fight-or-flight mode, which produces more cortisol and makes you sleep more lightly.  Additionally, when under stress, we often crave denser food such as mashed potatoes or juicy hamburgers.  But all of that comfort food, also interferes with your ability to get quality sleep and therefore makes you more tired.

And when you do manage to get some quality sleep, it might be laden with nightmares during the pandemic.  The Lyon Neuroscience Research Center found a 15% increase in negative dreams like nightmares.  For people not on the front lines of healthcare and emergency response, fears of the novel coronavirus are projected into fears and threats of spiders, zombies, bugs, and shadowy figures.

The best way to increase your energy is to exercise.  Regular exercise boots your energy and improves your immune system.  There are a wide number of fitness workouts that are available online during the shelter-in-place.  In the Bay Area, we are allowed to go for a socially distant walk or run as long as you maintain at least 6-feet of social distance.  So, lace up your sneakers and go for a brisk walk for 30 minutes to get your blood flowing, reduce your stress, clear your mind, and increase your energy.  Other ideas to get your heart pumping while indoors include jumping rope, your favorite warrior yoga pose, a dance party with your children, or master the latest TikTok dances to your favorite music.  Don't forget to strength train indoors as well.  Try using household objects as weights such as the detergent bottle, milk jugs, packages of sugar or rice.  Keep the weight balanced on both sides of the body.  

Regular exercise can tire you out and make your sleep deeper and more restful, which will improve your energy over time.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, here are 55 fun and useful skills to teach your children and teenagers while we continue to shelter in place.  

Stay safe and healthy!

1. Write a letter
2.  Care for a pet
3.  Make a phone call
4.  Leave a voicemail
5.  Take a phone message
6.  Sew a button
7.  Select a thoughtful gift
8.  Admit a mistake with grace
9.  Converse with an elder
10.  Set the table
11.  Clear the table
12.  Load and unload the dishwasher
13.  Give someone the benefit of the doubt
14.  Iron a shirt
15.  Introduce themselves
16.  Hammer a nail
17.  Have good table manners
18.  Change a light bulb
19.  Make scrambled eggs
20.  Balance a checkbook
21.  Do the laundry
22.  Fix something
23.  Garden
24.  Open, close and lock windows and doors 
25.  Weigh the pros and cons
26.  Dust
27.  Use a fire extinguisher
28.  Make a healthy salad
29.  Write a thank you note
30.  Make a smoothie
31.  Clean the refrigerator
32.  Vacuum
33.  Hang a picture
34. Clean the bathroom, including the toilet and tub.
35.  Budget their money
36.  Save money
37.  Notice the needs of others
38.  Read a recipe
39.  Play with a baby
40.  Genuinely apologize
41.  Plan a healthy meal
42.  Wash dishes
43.  Clean the kitchen
44.  Refill a stapler
45.  Write a check
46.  Put air in a flat bike or car tire
47.  Change a flat tire
48.  Pump gas
49.  Read a map
50.  Find a book at the library
51.  Check tire pressure
52.  Seek help from an experienced person
53.  Ask questions to get to know someone better
54.  Wait and save for something
55.  Fold the laundry

​As more testing is finally being done and we learn more and more about the spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19), it's becoming clearer that the situation we are all in will last for, at least, the next few months.  
 
​To help your child through the next few months, here are some tips:

First, spend time together as a family.  Bake a cake, have a dance party, do a puzzle together, go for a walk in your neighborhood while maintaining social distance of 6 feet, read a book together, watch a movie as a family, wash the car together, make up stories, laugh, play, and enjoy each other's company.

Second, allow and encourage feelings to be expressed.  It's important to help children express their feelings and make sure you listen and help them expand on what they are sharing. It's also important for children to hear parents express their feelings in a manner that they can process.

Third, reassurance is key. Once we've listened to a child, and tried to fully hear them out, then we should reassure them.  Reassuring someone without listening to them first is not as effective.

Fourth, encourage your child to help others. When children are able to help others, it makes them feel more in control of the world around them. They are no longer helpless, but instead, they're giving help to others. This helps children develop confidence, and it makes them feel proactive in the best of times and in the most difficult situations. 

Happy 2020!  It's a brand new year.  And like most people, you might have made or are going to make some new year's resolutions for 2020.  Perhaps you want to learn how to meditate, erase your debt, eat more fruits and vegetables, go on long hikes, or be mindful when talking to your spouse and children.  

We start the new year and each day with the hope of attaining these goals.  But we are often really afraid to try because we have tried so many times before and don't want to be disappointed.  Recent research suggests that 88% of people fail to stick to their resolutions to change and improve their lives.

We often fail to change our habits because our brain craves consistency and routine and tries so hard to resist change.  It can be very discouraging to try to do things differently, only to find ourselves falling back into old maladaptive patterns.

Most people believe that if we are hard on ourselves, we will be motivated to change.  But the contrary is actually true.  Showing self-compassion, being warm and supportive towards ourselves and actively soothing ourselves, helps more when we fall short of our intentions and goals.  Self-compassion leads to less anxiety, less depression, and greater peace of mind.  Most importantly, it makes us feel more motivated to make the improvements we want to make.

Here are three steps to achieve your resolutions.

1. Forgive yourself

The first step to making lasting change is to forgive yourself for having failed in the past. It’s okay; it’s normal, even. You did the best you could with the skills you had. Take a deep breath and soothe yourself like you might soothe or talk to a good friend.   Use kind, reassuring words to ease yourself out of a stress response. Remind yourself that few people are successful the first time they try to change their routines. Explain to yourself that feeling bad about your behavior will not increase your future success.

2. Aim for an inherently rewarding target

The second step is to set the right resolution, whether that’s a big audacious goal, a new habit you’d like to get into, or a bad habit you’d like to break.

To begin, you might want to:

• Lose weight
• Get in shape or establish an exercise habit
• Spend more time with your friends

It’s important to figure out WHY you want to do this thing that you haven’t been doing so far. You might have a whole laundry list of reasons for wanting to do what you want to do, and that’s great. But right now, I want you to think of the single most compelling way that you’ll benefit from achieving your goal.

Chances are, you’ve come up with a super logical reason for, say, losing weight or exercising, like that it will lower your blood pressure.

Here’s the thing: Even though we all like to think of ourselves as rational people, logic doesn’t motivate us nearly as much as our emotions do. Why? Because we approach what feels good and avoid what feels bad.

This means that we tend to stick with behavior changes for longer when we aim for something that feels good. Doing something because we feel like we should do it doesn’t feel good. It feels like we’re being forced. It’s stressful, and stress makes us seek comfort, often in the very form of behavior that we are trying to avoid.

So, ask yourself in your heart of hearts, how do you really want to feel? Identify a WHY for your resolution that will motivate you over the long haul.

Maybe you want to lose weight, for example, and so you plan to cut baked goods out of your diet, which happen to be your favorite foods. How will that make you feel?

At first, you might feel great, because you’ve just made a healthy decision for yourself. But if you don’t cheat on your diet, you’ll likely soon feel deprived. And if you do begin to cheat on your diet, you’ll probably feel anxious and guilty. Both of these feeling states are not motivating and uncomfortable, which will make it easy for you to give up on your diet.

But maybe the reason that you want to lose weight is so that you feel healthy and strong. Feeling stronger and healthier are very motivating feeling states, which will make it much easier for you to keep your new habit.

With this in mind, rethink your goal or resolution: Restate it for yourself in terms of how you want to feel.  For example:

• “I forbid myself to eat baked goods” could become → “I want to feel healthy and strong.”
• “I have to get more sleep” could become → “I want to feel well-rested and energetic.”
• “I should spend more time with friends” could become → “I want to feel loving and connected.”

3. Refine your resolution

​What actions and behaviors have led you to feel what you want to feel in the past?

Maybe you tend to feel well-rested and energetic when you go to bed before 10 p.m. Perhaps you tend to feel healthy and strong when you go for a hike. Maybe you feel loving and connected when you spend one-on-one time with your sister.

The important thing here is that it is something that you already have experience with; we human beings tend to be truly terrible at predicting how something will make us feel. But we do well to use our own experience to predict how we’ll feel in the future.

Here’s an example of how we frequently go wrong: Say we'd like to feel stronger this upcoming year. This calls for a get-in-shape habit. So, what would be a good way to get in shape? We could train for a marathon! Fun! Ambitious! But before we start researching destination marathons (because why not make it a vacation, too?), we'd do well to stop and ask: How do we feel when we are training for a long run? 

On the other hand, I can think of two activities that DO make me feel stronger:

• Taking long hikes
• High-intensity exercise classes where I sweat a lot

Your “why” for your goal needs to be a rewarding feeling that you experience when you are doing your resolution or, at the very least, immediately after you do it. A daily hike must genuinely make you feel energized, for example, if that is the feeling you are after. 

From here, refine your resolution one more time. Make sure that your resolution reflects a really specific behavior, so that you know if you are succeeding or not. For example, resolve to take three hikes per week after work on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays instead of resolving to “go for more hikes.”

Finally, do a little reality check. Setting unrealistic resolutions is a sure path to failure. If it’s just not realistic for you to, say, leave work an hour early on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that you can do your hike, please don’t make that your resolution.

If you are now aiming for a target that is specific, realistic, and inherently rewarding (because you know it is going to make you feel good), you are all set to accomplish those 2020 resolutions!

Psychologists and child development experts suggest that not over-scheduling your child over the summer is beneficial and can help them to develop their own interests and passions.   Read this short article to learn more and a specific strategy to help with the "I'm bored. What can I do?" questions.