How To Find a Good Therapist
When you want to get in shape, there are numerous ways to go about it. You can join a gym, find a sport you like and do it often, or hike all over the beautiful Bay Area. When you want to lose weight, there is a most likely a Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig meeting nearby you for support. But what do you do when you want to improve your communication with your partner, deal with stress, get help with depression or anxiety, or help your child to be less angry?
Making the decision to seek out a therapist is hard enough. But once you make that decision, finding the right therapist for you is no easy task. I have complied this list of ways to find a good therapist and questions to ask before the first intake appointment to help guide you.
How to Find a Good Therapist
Before Calling the Therapist
First, decide if you want a same-sex therapist or one of the opposite sex. If you are apprehensive about therapy then choose the sex of the therapist with whom you feel most comfortable.
Next, find out how much you can afford for therapy. Assuming that therapy is once a week, then figure out how much can you afford to pay for four sessions in a month. If you have insurance, then contact your carrier and obtain in writing what they cover. For example, ask if you have to see a specific therapist on their list, or if you have to see a particular type of therapist. Ask the carrier how much they pay for each office visit, and how many sessions they will pay for. Also ask about annual and life-time pay out limits.
Time To Make the Call
After getting some referrals, it’s time to pick up the phone. Many therapists offer a consultation – either over the phone or in-person – and this will give you an actual taste of what working with this person may be like.
Questions to Ask
If it seems like a fit, consider continuing, but do not ever feel like you have to make another appointment just because you made a consultation. If you need more time to decide, tell the therapist that you want to talk to a few other potential therapists and you will call back if you decide to make an appointment with them. Give yourself some time to think over and digest your feelings about the phone conversations.
Make an Educated Decision.
Once you've spoken to a few candidates, weigh your options like you would if you were interviewing someone for a job. After all, you're about to endeavor on this journey, whether short-term or long-term, together. They should have made a good first impression, make you comfortable with the thought of speaking to them about what concerns you, and give you an idea of whether or not they can help you or see you as often as you would like. This is going to become a meaningful relationship for you and you want to feel relaxed and safe. You’ll probably be sharing information with your therapist that you wouldn't even share with a close friend so feeling comfortable is key. A good rapport with your therapist is critical.
Choose a therapist and make an appointment for an initial session.
The process can be confusing, but that doesn't mean it should be a barrier to entry. Once you find a professional to see, you can make a judgement call over time as to whether or not they're the right professional. Sometimes you may need to part ways with a therapist and go back to step one and look for someone new. Try not to let that discourage you, just like choosing a doctor, not all patients and therapists match up, and you may have to speak with or visit more than one therapist before you find someone right for you.
Making the decision to seek out a therapist is hard enough. But once you make that decision, finding the right therapist for you is no easy task. I have complied this list of ways to find a good therapist and questions to ask before the first intake appointment to help guide you.
How to Find a Good Therapist
- Ask a trusted family member and/or a close friend. This is usually the first avenue that people try when looking for a good therapist. And it makes good sense! You trust your friends and family and that personal referral is always golden! Other great resources are your doctors, dentists, office workers, clergy, family members, friends, neighbors, exercise partners. Asking your family and friends if they have any referrals is a great starting place. If a family member or friend is currently seeing a therapist, ask the friend to ask the therapist for a referral. It is best to refrain from seeing the same therapist that a close friend or family member sees.
- Ask a professional you already work with and trust. Your physician, dentist, lawyer, accountant, or clergy are all examples of people that you have a professional relationship with. Hopefully, they will respect and honor your confidentiality. They are often very well-connected in the community and will have good referrals to give you. Also, please keep in mind, when asking anyone, friends, family, other professionals, for a referral to a therapist or a psychologist, you do not have to disclose any personal details about why you are seeking a therapist, unless you want to. It’s more than enough to say, “I’m having some problems and I’d like to consult with a therapist about it. Can you recommend anyone?”
- Some other places to contact are your local community mental health center, a local university or college department of psychology, or your local or stated psychological association. On a national level, you can use the American Psychological Association’s (APA) Psychologist Locator service. In California, you can contact the California Psychological Association (CPA) or the Board of Psychology to find a psychologist in your area. Here on the Peninsula area of the Bay Area, you can also contact the Santa Clara County Psychological Association (SCCPA) to find local psychologists.
- If you are seeking a therapist for your child or teen, ask other parents whom you trust, your child’s teacher, coach, principal, school nurse, school psychologist, resource specialist, or your child’s pediatrician for referrals.
- Let your company’s Human Resources Department help you. Many places of employment have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). These services might be in-house or out-sourced but the purpose of EAPs is to provide emotional support and counseling for employees in complete privacy and as part of the employee’s benefit package. EAPs are often part of the Human Resource department so ask there if your company has an EAP and how to access it. Usually you would see a counselor at the EAP for a set number of sessions (no charge to you) and if you want to continue they will refer you to a therapist in the community who will take your insurance.
- Use the internet to your advantage. There are some wonderful reliable websites out there to help you find a good therapist. One such reliable website is Psychology Today and there are others as well. Psychology Today requires a minimum of professional qualifications in order to be listed on their website. Psychology Today also contracts with other trustworthy sites like WebMD to provide their list to their readers. A therapist cannot be listed on Psychology Today unless they can prove they have a legitimate advanced degree in their discipline and an up-to-date professional license or certification. The therapist posts information about themselves on the website’s “Find a Therapist” feature, including their professional qualifications, education, areas of expertise, and how long they have been in practice. When you see a promising listing, check out the therapist’s website.
- Contact your insurance company. If you would like to use your insurance, this is probably one of the first places where you will start. Most insurance companies provider their members with a way to look online via an insurance portal to find a therapist in their area. You can often specific some criteria such as location, gender of the therapist, and areas of expertise. Once you get the list of providers from the insurance company, try to do some research online and then contact them.
- Research the referrals you are given. Once you have received a few names of therapists, it is time to do a Google search. If they have a website or blog, be sure to explore it to see if they communicate well. You can also explore what has been written about this individual. One thing to keep in mind though is that all licensed psychologists and therapists have ethical duties to protect and maintain a client’s confidentiality. An ethical psychologist will not respond to negative online reviews as it will most likely cause a breach in confidentiality. Also, even in today’s day and age, not all therapists are on the web. They might be very qualified to help you, so not finding a website or review online is not a good reason to rule them out.
Before Calling the Therapist
First, decide if you want a same-sex therapist or one of the opposite sex. If you are apprehensive about therapy then choose the sex of the therapist with whom you feel most comfortable.
Next, find out how much you can afford for therapy. Assuming that therapy is once a week, then figure out how much can you afford to pay for four sessions in a month. If you have insurance, then contact your carrier and obtain in writing what they cover. For example, ask if you have to see a specific therapist on their list, or if you have to see a particular type of therapist. Ask the carrier how much they pay for each office visit, and how many sessions they will pay for. Also ask about annual and life-time pay out limits.
Time To Make the Call
After getting some referrals, it’s time to pick up the phone. Many therapists offer a consultation – either over the phone or in-person – and this will give you an actual taste of what working with this person may be like.
Questions to Ask
- Are you licensed? What is your license, degree, and training? What is your previous therapeutic experience? How many years have you been practicing psychology?
- I have been feeling (tense, mad, depressed, etc.) and I'm having problems (with my job, my marriage, eating, sleeping, etc.). Do you have experience working with issues like mine?
- What are your areas of expertise — for example, working with children and families?
- What type of therapy or kinds of treatments do you use, and have they been proven effective for dealing with my kind of problem or issue?
- How long are the sessions?
- What are your fees? Do you have a sliding-scale fee policy?
- What types of insurance do you accept? Will you accept direct billing to or payment from my insurance company? Are you affiliated with any managed care organizations? Do you accept Medicare or Medicaid insurance?
- How do you approach treatment?
- Will there be homework or skills I’ll need to practice outside of therapy?
- What do you think the goal of successful therapy is?
- Is there a time limit to treatment?
- I am looking for a daytime, afternoon, evening, or weekend appointment. What is your availability? How soon can I make an intake appointment?
If it seems like a fit, consider continuing, but do not ever feel like you have to make another appointment just because you made a consultation. If you need more time to decide, tell the therapist that you want to talk to a few other potential therapists and you will call back if you decide to make an appointment with them. Give yourself some time to think over and digest your feelings about the phone conversations.
Make an Educated Decision.
Once you've spoken to a few candidates, weigh your options like you would if you were interviewing someone for a job. After all, you're about to endeavor on this journey, whether short-term or long-term, together. They should have made a good first impression, make you comfortable with the thought of speaking to them about what concerns you, and give you an idea of whether or not they can help you or see you as often as you would like. This is going to become a meaningful relationship for you and you want to feel relaxed and safe. You’ll probably be sharing information with your therapist that you wouldn't even share with a close friend so feeling comfortable is key. A good rapport with your therapist is critical.
Choose a therapist and make an appointment for an initial session.
The process can be confusing, but that doesn't mean it should be a barrier to entry. Once you find a professional to see, you can make a judgement call over time as to whether or not they're the right professional. Sometimes you may need to part ways with a therapist and go back to step one and look for someone new. Try not to let that discourage you, just like choosing a doctor, not all patients and therapists match up, and you may have to speak with or visit more than one therapist before you find someone right for you.