Miranda J. Gabriel, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist PSY 19388
​510-459-1302
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Time on Your Side: 10 Strategies to Be More Productive

9/1/2020

 
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Good time management isn't just about choosing the right app.  Managing our time wisely requires replacing some of our behaviors with healthier habits and routines.  Here are 10 strategies to help you to be more productive and use your time well.

1.  Learn How to and When To Say "NO"
Saying "no" when we are used to saying "yes" to everything is uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier the more we do it.  When asked if you can do something, practice saying "Let me take a look at my schedule and see if that is something I have time for."  When we are assigned more than we know we can handle, find out the new assignment is a priority.  Your boss may decide to delegate the assignment to someone else once it is clear that you already have enough on your plate.  Impulsive responses get people into a lot of trouble, so pause, take a breath, and ask for time to consider the request.

2.  Use the two-minute rule: If the task takes two minuter or less to complete, stop and do it now.
Telling ourselves that we will do it later is a fib we often believe.  All those things we say we will do later, which don't get done, take up too much "bandwidth" in our brains.  Doing a simple task right away like capturing and labeling a new contact on our phone, saves a lot of time later when we have forgotten.

3.  Limit and set clear boundaries for checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, and newsfeeds.
Restricting social media to a lunchtime activity or the commute home from work is a good rule of thumb, assuming you are not driving.  To avoid being inadvertently distracted, move any app with a notification icon off your home screen.  Be brutal and unsubscribe to emails, newsletters, and organizations that are not necessary and that wind up wasting your time.

4.  Check your calendar and "to do list" morning, noon, and night.
Keep your planning simple.  Ask yourself what you want to get done by lunch.  After lunch, re-assess and decide what you want to accomplish before you finish work for the day.  When you get home, decide what you want to do for the evening.  Simple is best and less is more are good rules to apply to time management and organization.

5.  Double the time you think it will take to complete an organizational project.
Many of us are poor at estimating how long things will take and almost all of us are poor at estimating the time needed for organizational projects.  this is because organizing requires a lot of decision-making, and most of us complicate simple questions such as "Keep or toss it?"  Having to stop in the middle of an organization project because we ran out of time is not a pretty sight, as most of what we are organizing is scattered all over the place.  Make sure you have plenty of time to finish what you have started by doubling your estimate for completion.

6.  Use a timer to stop what you are working on.
If hyperfocus or losing track of time leads to missed appointments or arriving late, use a timer to stop what you are working on.

7.  Establish a morning and an evening routine, and stick to them.  
When those two routines are consistent, other routines can be built around them.  Deciding what not to do each morning and night is as important as deciding what the routine will consist of.  Getting a good night's sleep and starting the day on time are necessary and healthy steps for better time management.  Be patient and persistent on establishing consistency with getting up and going to bed on time.

8.  Learn how and when to delegate.
Do not fall into the trap of "If I want it done right, I'll have to do it myself," or "I need to do it because it will take me longer to show someone else how to do it." We have all heard these expressions, either spoken by ourselves or others.  Be patient and take the time to mentor others.  It can save you a lot of time in the long run.  Don't just delegate down; delegate up by asking for help when you need it.  If you are assigned something at work that you have never done before, time can be wasted trying to figure out how to proceed.  Ask for more detailed instructions when to find pertinent information about the task, or an example you can use as a template.  "Could you please walk me through the process?" is an appropriate question to ask. 

9.  Beware of multitasking, which can save time only if the tasks are simple and familiar.  
If the tasks are complex and unfamiliar, it is more time-efficient to do them one at a time.  Helping your child with addition problems while cooking dinner you have made a hundred times is fine, but if you are trying out a new recipe and helping your teenager with calculus, chances are, you will burn dinner and your teen won't do well on the concept or quiz.

10.  If you are in the middle of something, do not allow interruptions.  
Politely say, "Just a moment.  I'm right in the middle of something," and continue with what you are doing until you are at a good stopping point and can re-direct your focus.  Sometimes a hand signal works well.  Constant interruptions  ruin our efficiency, so even if you have an open-door policy, do not hesitate to put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door when you have a project that requires your sustained attention.  It is difficult for us to minimize our internal distractions, so any boundaries we can set up to minimize external distractions helps us to become more time-efficient.

Supporting Siblings in Special Needs Families: Blog Roll

3/4/2019

 
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When one child in a family has difficulties that consume a lot of the family's attention, restrict family activities, or generate great concern, other children in the family may not get the attention that they deserve.  Siblings in families with special needs may feel a myriad of emotions such as sadness, disappointment, anger, or stress. Some siblings take care of themselves so that they are less of a burden to their family.

Here are some articles on ways to help support a sibling in a special needs family.  

1.  5 Ways to Support Siblings in Special Needs Families

2.  12 Ways to Support Siblings of Children with Disabilities

3.  10 Great Books if You Have Sibling with Special Needs

4. Supporting the Siblings of Special Needs Kids


The best sports activities for children with ADHD

5/10/2018

 
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No doubt about it, Michael Phelps has made waves in his chosen sport. In 2004, at the age of 18, he swam his way to eight medals (six of them gold) at the summer Olympics in Athens. By the time the 2016 Olympics wrapped up in Rio, he was the most decorated Olympian of all time, with 28 medals — 23 of them gold. Now retired from swimming, he holds 7 world records, including the 200-meter butterfly and the 4 x 100-meter freestyle relay.

Michael Phelps, the world’s greatest Olympian of all time, was once diagnosed with ADHD. Phelps’ mother, Debbie, recalls how his hyperactivity invited constant complaints from his teachers and friends. When she approached an expert to analyze his behavior, ADHD was identified as the cause. Debbie decided to help Michael with improving his behavior. She introduced him to various activities and diverted his hyperactivity into those actions. He was encouraged to pursue swimming, baseball, cross-country racing and lacrosse. But swimming became his main focus, after a while, and his dedication to excel in the sport made him the most talented swimming champion of all time. It not only helped him increase his concentration but also helped improve his conduct.

Michael Phelps is a practical example of how children with ADHD can gain focus and improve their behavior through sports and other activities. His life teaches us how one can find opportunity in adversity and turn one’s weakness into a strength.

Research suggests that involving children with ADHD in sports and other outdoor activities provides them with a more open environment to express their feelings. Playing sports helps children reduce their anxiety and depression. It also helps them understand the dynamics of functioning in a team and inculcates the spirit of winning and losing, graciously.

How do you find the right sport for your child?

Pay attention to their interests! Learn about their interests and list all the activities that are suitable for your child. From the list of activities, ask your child to pick their favorite one. Remember to never force your child into any sport or activity without their consent, as it can become a cause for more stress. Taking part in sports and other activities can be difficult at the beginning. This is because children with ADHD tend to display hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention. However, with an accommodative stance, support from parents and the right coach, getting a child into the game is doable.
What kind of sport suits your child?

As mentioned earlier, it has to be to their liking. There are many sports and outdoor activities that can help your child expend excess energy and, in the process, build concentration and team-building skills. Compare and analyze all the activities and choose the one that best fits the personality of your child.  Here are some ideas of sports and activities that might help the child with ADHD.

1. Tennis

Sports can be classified into team sports and sports that are played individually. Tennis is one such activity that is played individually or in a dyad, and this can be especially beneficial for those who find it hard to cope with a team. With tennis, children have the ability to compete against themselves and master the skill. Playing ball games is a good mechanism to release pent up anger and stress.

2. Martial Arts

Martial arts training involves a step-by-step learning path. A step-wise approach is good as it helps children with ADHD learn to be focused on an activity for a certain duration of time without becoming distracted. It also helps in learning behavioral aspects such as being respectful, exercising self-control and self-discipline. Acquiring martial arts skills requires that the child receive and obey directions/instructions from their sensei. This can inculcate the habit of taking directions from others when undertaking new activities, a skill that can improve outcomes in school and work environments.

​3. Swimming

Swimming is a popular recreational activity among children of all ages. Some of these children go on to pursue it as a competitive sport. It is an excellent activity for children with ADHD.  Besides being fun, it teaches coordinated body movement, provides sensory comfort and enhances breathing control. It also boosts self-esteem and enhances physical fitness.

​4. Gymnastics

The equipment and movements involved in gymnastics are similar to the ones used in occupational therapy.  Such activities help children pay close attention to their body movements and body balance. It builds your child’s core strength, sense of balance and muscle awareness to better manage any deficiencies in sensory processing.

​5. Wrestling

Wrestling is a great sport option, if you have a highly energetic child on your hands. It would be a good idea to channel all the excess energy into something fun and competitive. Dealing with any aggressive tendencies by channeling them into a competitive sport is an excellent strategy. It will also teach your child to exercise their strength with discipline and control.

6. Track and Cross Country

In most individual sports, children have to wait for their turn to play. However, a simple activity, such as running track or cross country, bypasses the need to wait. Also, there would be less chance of the child becoming distracted because there would be others around to remind them of their goal. Therefore, running helps in learning discipline and in social integration with other children.

7. Soccer

For children with ADHD, soccer is an incredible sport to play. It increases team spirit and encourages peer bonding. Healthy competition encourages the child to play actively and can be highly stimulating. Since this game requires one to act continuously, difficulties with short attention span could be improved upon through this sport.  

Apart from the above-mentioned sports, there may be other sports and activities that your child is interested in or good at. These may include individual activities such as biking, running, or natural activities like feeding a bird, painting a fence or raking the leaves. Always remember that team sports, such as baseball, soccer, basketball, etc., require a lot of physical contact and attention to detail as one plays. Analyze your child’s areas of needs and strengths in order to see if they are comfortable with physical contact and can perform the quick mental processing needed for such sports. Only after a thorough analysis, decide which sports suit them best and which does not.

Another key aspect is to find the right coach who can understand children with ADHD and give them support to excel in their favorite sport. Coaches have a huge impact on your child, so educate the coach on your child’s behavior. This gives an idea of your child’s potential and limitations to the coach, and training can be suitably modified to match your child’s needs.
Sports have a positive impact on children and can help in gaining self-esteem and confidence, along with reducing their hyperactivity. Sports are also crucial to building the social life of a child with ADHD. So, let your child play their favorite sport and see for yourself the positive changes it will bring.

Blog Roll 2: Parents of Children with Special Needs

8/1/2017

 
Recently, I received an email from a reader of this blog who provided resources that they have found useful in helping parents of children with special needs.  I appreciate their generosity in sharing these sites with me, and with their permission, I am sharing them with you.  I hope that these resources are helpful to any parent, caregiver, or professional who works with or raises a child with special needs.

1. 
Understanding Dyslexia and How to Help Children Who Have It

2.  
The Importance of Self-Esteem for Kids With Learning and Attention Issues

3.  Parenting Tips for ADHD: Do’s and Don’ts

4.  How to Create an Autism-Friendly Environment for Kids

5.  How to Discuss Puberty with Your Child Who Has Special Needs

6.  Creating the Optimal Environment for a Kid with ADHD

7.  Teens with ADHD: Recognizing Signs of Depression

8.  ADHD and Addiction - What is the Risk?

9.   Teaching the Person with Autism How to Drive

10.  How to Prepare Your Child with Special Needs for the Back-to-School Transition  

Blog Roll for Parents and Teachers of Special Needs Children

4/30/2016

 
"I cannot emphasize enough the importance
 of a good teacher."  
--Temple Grandin, Ph.D.
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This week, I received an email from a mother who has a child on the autism spectrum.  She complied a list of online resources for both parents and educators of children with special needs.  I appreciate her generosity in sharing these sites with me, and with her permission, I am sharing them with you.  I hope that these resources are helpful to any parent, caregiver, or professional who works with or raises a child with special needs.

1.  Creating the Optimal Living Environment for a Child with ADHD

2.  Suggested Classroom Interventions for Children with ADD and Learning Disabilities

3.  The Life-Changing Impact of Autism Service Dogs

4.  22 Tips for Teaching Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders

5. 50 Must-See Blogs for Special Education Teachers

6.  The Ultimate Guide to Water Safety for Parents and Caregivers of Children with Autism

7. Teaching Your Child About Peers with Special Needs

8. Teaching College Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders

9.  Autism and Addiction: Coping With and Treating Your Dual Diagnosis

10. Choosing a College: Planning For Teens with ADHD

11.  Overview of College Resources for Students with Disabilities 

10 Empowering Resources for  People with ADHD

11/19/2015

 
Here are 10 empowering resources for people dealing with ADHD.  
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1. Helping Children and Teens with ADHD Succeed at School

2. ADHD and Learning Disabilities: School Help

3.  College Assistance Guide for People with ADHD

4.  The Best Software and Gadgets for ADHD Students

5. The Ultimate ADHD Apps Guide: 18 Apps to Make Managing your ADHD Simpler

6. Strategies to Emplower, Not Control, Kids Labeled ADD/ADHD

7.
How Dogs Can Help People with ADD and ADHD

8. Beat ADHD Anxiety and Stress

9. ADHD and Addiction: What is the Risk?

​10.
 ADHD and Co-Existing Disorders: ADHD and Sleep

    Miranda J. Gabriel, Psy.D.

    A licensed clinical psychologist providing psychotherapy to children, teens, and adults in the San Francisco Bay Area.


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