Support from parents is key to helping kids do well academically. Here are 10 ways parents can put their kids on track to be successful students.

1. Attend Back-to-School Night and Parent-Teacher Conferences

Kids do better in school when parents are involved in their academic lives. Attending back-to-school night at the start of the school year is a great way to get to know your child's teachers and their expectations. 

Attending parent-teacher conferences is another way to stay informed. These are usually held once or twice a year at progress reporting periods. The conferences are a chance to start or continue conversations with your child's teacher, and discuss strategies to help your child do his or her best in class. Meeting with the teacher also lets your child know that what goes on in school will be shared at home.

If your child has special learning needs, additional meetings can be scheduled with teachers and other school staff to consider setting up or revising IEP's 504 educational plans, or gifted educational plans. 
Keep in mind that parents or guardians can request meetings with teachers, principals, school counselors, or other school staff any time during the school year.

2. Visit the School and Its Website

Knowing the physical layout of the school building and grounds can help you connect with your child when you talk about the school day. It's good to know the location of the main office, school nurse, cafeteria, gym, athletic fields, playgrounds, auditorium, and special classes.

On the school website, you can find information about:

• the school calendar
• staff contact information
• upcoming events like class trips
• testing dates

3. Support Homework Expectations

Homework in elementary school reinforces and extends classroom learning and helps kids practice important study skills. It also helps them develop a sense of responsibility and a work ethic that will benefit them beyond the classroom.

In addition to making sure your child knows that you see homework as a priority, you can help by creating an effective study environment. Any well-lit, comfortable, and quiet workspace with the necessary supplies will do. Avoiding distractions (like a TV  in the background) and setting up a start and end time can also help.

A good rule of thumb for an effective homework and/or study period is roughly 10 minutes per elementary grade level. Fourth-graders, for example, should expect to have about 40 minutes of homework or studying each school night. If you find that it's often taking significantly longer than this guideline, talk with your child's teacher.

While your child does homework, be available to interpret assignment instructions, offer guidance, answer questions, and review the completed work. But resist the urge to provide the correct answers or complete the assignments yourself. Learning from mistakes is part of the process and you don't want to take this away from your child.

4. Send Your Child to School Ready to Learn

A good night's sleep and a nutritious breakfast fuels up kids and gets them ready for the day. In general, kids who eat breakfast have more energy and do better in school. Kids who eat breakfast also are less likely to be absent and make fewer trips to the school nurse with stomach complaints related to hunger.

You can help boost your child's attention span, concentration, and memory by providing breakfast foods that are rich in whole grains, fiber, and protein, as well as low in added sugar. If your child is running late some mornings, send along fresh fruit, nuts, yogurt, or half a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Many schools provide nutritious breakfast options before the first bell.

Kids also need a good night of sleep to be alert and ready to learn all day. Most school-age kids need 10 to 12 hours of sleep a night. Bedtime difficulties can arise at this age for a variety of reasons. Homework, sports, after-school activities, TVs, computers, and video games, as well as hectic family schedules, can contribute to kids not getting enough sleep.

Lack of sleep can cause irritable or hyperactive behavior and might make it hard for kids to pay attention in class. It's important to have a consistent bedtime routine, especially on school nights. Be sure to leave enough time before bed to allow your child to unwind before lights out and limit stimulating diversions like TV and video games.

5. Teach Organizational Skills

When kids are organized, they can stay focused instead of spending time hunting things down and getting sidetracked.

Being organized in elementary school means having an assignment book and homework folder (many schools supply these) to keep track of homework and projects.

Check your child's assignment book and homework folder every school night so you are familiar with assignments and your child doesn't fall behind. Set up a bin for papers that you need to check or sign. Also, keep a special box or bin for completed and graded projects.

Talk to your child about keeping his or her school desk orderly so papers that need to come home don't get lost. Teach your child how to use a calendar or personal planner to help stay organized.

It's also helpful to teach your child how to make a to-do list to help prioritize and get things done. It can be as simple as:

1. homework
2. soccer
3. put clothes away

No one is born with great organizational skills — they need to be learned and practiced.

6. Teach Study Skills

Studying for a test can be scary for young kids, and many educators assume parents will help their kids during the grade-school years. Introducing your child to study skills now will pay off with good learning habits throughout life.

In elementary school, kids usually take end-of-unit tests in math, spelling, science, and social studies. Be sure to know when a test is scheduled so you can help your child study ahead of time rather than just the night before. You also might need to remind your child to bring home the right study materials, such as notes, study guides, or books.

Teach your child how to break down overall tasks into smaller, manageable chunks so preparing for a test isn't overwhelming. You also can introduce your child to tricks like mnemonic devices to help with recalling information. Remember that taking a break after a 45-minute study period is an important way to help kids process and remember information.

Your child probably will be introduced to standardized testing in elementary school. While students can't really study for standardized tests, some teachers provide practice tests to help ease students' worries.

In general, if studying and testing becomes a source of stress for your child, discuss the situation with the teacher or school counselor.

7. Know the Disciplinary Policies

Schools usually cite their disciplinary policies (sometimes called the student code of conduct) in student handbooks. The rules cover expectations, and consequences for not meeting the expectations, for things like student behavior, dress codes, use of electronic devices, and acceptable language.

The policies may include details about attendance, vandalism, cheating, fighting, and weapons. Many schools also have specific policies about bullying. It's helpful to know the school's definition of bullying, consequences for bullies, support for victims, and procedures for reporting bullying.

It's important for your child to know what's expected at school and that you'll support the school's consequences when expectations aren't met. It's easiest for students when school expectations match the ones at home, so kids see both environments as safe and caring places that work together as a team.

8. Get Involved

Whether kids are just starting kindergarten or entering their last year of elementary school, there are many good reasons for parents to volunteer at school. It's a great way for parents to show they're interested in their kids' education.

Many grade-schoolers like to see their parents at school or at school events. But follow your child's cues to find out how much interaction works for both of you. If your child seems uncomfortable with your presence at the school or with your involvement in an extracurricular activity, consider taking a more behind-the-scenes approach. Make it clear that you aren't there to spy — you're just trying to help out the school community.

Parents can get involved by:

• being a classroom helper or homeroom parent
• organizing and/or working at fundraising activities and other special events, like bake sales, car washes, and book fairs
• chaperoning field trips
• planning class parties
• attending school board meetings
• joining the school's parent-teacher group
• working as a library assistant
• reading a story to the class
• giving a talk for career day
• attending school concerts or plays

Check the school or teacher website to find volunteer opportunities that fit your schedule. Even giving a few hours during the school year can make a strong impression on your child.

9. Take Attendance Seriously

Of course, sick kids should stay home from school.  
Otherwise, it's important that kids arrive at school on time every day, because having to catch up with class work and homework can be stressful and interfere with learning.

If your child misses a lot of school due to illness,  make sure to check with the teacher about any work that needs to be completed. It's also a good idea to know the school's attendance policy.

Sometimes students want to stay home from school because of problems with classmates, assignments or grades, or even teachers. This can result in real symptoms, like headaches or stomachaches. If you think there's a problem at school, talk with your child — and then perhaps with the teacher — to find out more about what's causing the anxiety. The school counselor or  psychologist also might be able to help.

Also try to avoid late bedtimes, which can result in tardy and tired students. A consistent sleep schedule also can help students.

10. Make Time to Talk About School

It's usually easy to talk with elementary students about what's going on in class and the latest news at school. You probably know what books your child is reading and are familiar with the math being worked on. But parents can get busy and forget to ask the simple questions, which can have an effect on children's success at school.

Take time every day to talk to your child so he or she knows that what goes on at school is important to you. When kids know parents are interested in their academic lives, they'll take school seriously as well.

Because communication is a two-way street, the way you talk and listen to your child can influence how well your child listens and responds. It's important to listen carefully, make eye contact, and avoid multitasking while you talk. Be sure to ask questions that go beyond "yes" or "no" answers.

Besides during family meals, good times to talk include car trips (though eye contact isn't needed here, of course), walking the dog, preparing meals, or standing in line at a store.
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These early years of schooling are an important time for parents to be informed and supportive about their child's education and to set the stage for children to develop and grow as young learners.

According to a 2017 Harvard study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, asking a question and then asking at least two follow-up questions will dramatically increase how likable you are.

We converse with others to learn what they know, their information, stories, preferences, ideas, thoughts, and feelings, as well as what we know while managing others' perceptions of us.   When we ask more questions, we are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct  that captures listening, understanding, validation, and care.

Asking a few questions, and actually listening to the answers, and people will like you more.  It sounds too good to be true, but it is. 

Around 40% of our everyday speech is spent telling other people about our subjective experiences.  Not facts or instructions or outcome-based conversations, which account for another chunk of our everyday speech, but what we think or feel.  Talking about ourselves, whether in person or on social media, increases activity in brain regions associated with the sense of reward and satisfaction gained from food, money, or sex.  

We want and need to talk about ourselves.  Therefore, when you actively help other people talk about themselves, they will see you as a great conversationalist.  They will feel better about themselves, because they will feel like you care about them.

Say you meet someone new.  As soon as you learn a little about them, ask how they did or do it?  How they felt? Or what they like about it, learned from it, or what advice they might have?  Asking at least two follow-up questions shows you respect the other person's experiences, knowledge, opinions, etc.  You respect them as a person.  This makes you a more likable person and helps to build the foundation for a genuine relationship.

Life can be hectic with never-ending to-do lists, stressful working conditions, and a feeling of always being on the go, especially during the pandemic.
Even though the modern world is fast-paced, you can still learn to live a mindful life.  Mindfulness is a skill that can be learned with some practice.
The first step towards being mindful throughout the day is to bring mindfulness into everything you do.
For example:

• Bring mindfulness to the task at hand.
• Bring awareness to your daily chores.
• Bring attention to the people around you.

The second step -- and this is the hard part -- is to bring your attention back whenever you lose focus. After as short as a few days of practice you will find that your mind wanders less often.
If you find this hard, try to put "mindfulness reminders" throughout the day to remind you where to bring your awareness.  For example, you can put a note at your workspace to remind you to do some mindful stretching.

Now for the specific tips to mindful living:

1. Do less. Decide on your essentials and do less of everything else.  It's better to do a few things excellent than many things mediocre
2. Slow down. Only when we slow down, can we see things as they are. Slowing down and enjoying the little things makes life more pleasant.
3. Use your mornings to be mindful. Begin your days slow to ease into the day. Take a few minutes to stretch, pray, read, drink a cup of tea, whatever would help you to ease into your day.
4. Do one thing at a time. When multitasking, we switch attention between two or more tasks, which actually makes us less productive. Instead, focus on only one thing at a time for a specific time or until you are done, then move on to the next task.
5. Do your chores mindfully. Mindfulness is easy to incorporate into your daily life: only focus on the task at hand. Whenever you lose focus, note that your mind has wandered, and gently bring it back.
6. Learn to listen. Often we don't listen to others. We become so caught up in our counter-arguments, so we forget to listen to what they say. Fortunately, mindful listening is a skill that can be learned with practice. A good rule of thumb is to listen more than you talk.
7. Eat with awareness. Eat slowly and with awareness. Pay attention to the taste of the food, the colors and form.
8. Go for a walk. Leave your phone at home and go for a walk, preferably in nature. Instead of listening to music or a podcast, enjoy the sounds around you.
9. Do nothing. Often we fill our days with errands and tasks. We don't have any time left to just be. When doing nothing, we can become aware of our feelings and thoughts. At first, that might seem scary, but if we just continue to pay attention to them without judging, they slowly disappear.
10. Take a break. Take breaks throughout the day. Use your breaks to take some deep breaths and be mindful.

The following information is meant for reflection.  It is not meant to serve as a comprehensive list of everything that may help a child following a divorce. 
For further information, consult with a trusted mental health professional.

Hurtful To The Child

• Quarreling with the other parent within earshot of the child
• Berating the other parent within earshot of the child
• Allowing the child to say negative things about the other parent without challenging. (The exception is a report of abuse.  See a mental health professional on how to deal with this kind of allegation.)
• Expressing non-verbal anger toward the other parent within earshot of the child
• Questioning the child about the other parents' personal affairs (ex, using your child as a spy).
• Arguing with positive statements that the child makes about the other parent
• Trying to form a coalition with the child against the other parent
• Threatening to limit access to the other parent
• Threatening to take the other parent to court within earshot of the child
• Rejection the feelings of loss that the child expresses regarding the other parent
• Communicating to the child, directly or indirectly, that there is a love contest going on (ex., the child must decide which parent loves them more).
• Staying trapped in feelings of rage or hurt towards the other parent

Helpful To The Child

• Having positive conversations with the other parent within earshot of the child
• Complimenting the other parent within earshot of the child
• Affirming to the child that the other parent loves him or her
• Qualifying or disagreeing with negative statements that the child makes about the other parent
• Putting the child's best interest above any feelings of rage or hurt that are felt toward the other parent
• Keeping the child unaware of any ongoing court battles
• Making peace with the other parent, as quickly and as thoroughly as possible
• Allowing and welcoming the child to voice feelings of loss pertaining to the other parent
• Allowing the child to talk about and play through their feelings about the divorce
• Providing the child with ways of coping with the divorce (ex., readings, a child divorce support group like Kids Turn, therapy etc).

      We are 11 months into the pandemic, and your child is feeling the effects. Social distancing, virtual school, the loss of sports, choir, band, and connections to friends are overwhelming your child or teen. His energy level is down. She hardly sees friends.   All of their "free" time is on screens. They likely need of a few ways to find joy.  Here  are some tips to cultivate more joy with your child right now.

Empathize. 
      Do you remember what school was like when you were a kid? Were you more concerned with grades, friends, parties, dances, sports, or popularity? Yes, your teen might be acting as if COVID-19 was introduced only to ruin their life, but don't overreact. Take a moment to put yourself in her proverbial shoes. It really is a tough time, and she doesn't have the life experience you have. Whatever means you use, meditation, yoga,  deep breathing, walks or runs, eating Oreos , try to get your emotions back into check. This balance will enable you to manage your own emotions and be empathetic to your child. 

If you are okay, they'll be okay. 
As parents, we are our children's social and emotional coping models. You, too, are tired of COVID-19, and you miss your friends. Don't try to pretend that all is well in the world. Holiday festivities were just cancelled or virtual.  It is hard! Show your children you are human too. Share your frustrations. Commiserate. Hold a mini pity party with your child. Eat popcorn, dance, laugh, and try to embrace this time together.
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Promote a respectful tone and banter. 
     We all have times when our tone does not reflect our intentions. Chances are you have used that sharp tone of voice with your children. Model using a tone that communicates respect, when humanly possible. Start by asking the whole family, including you, to pay attention to words and tone. This way the child who struggles the most is not singled out. The whole family can try to be more considerate. Be sure to share with your children what respectful looks like, and admit to them when you struggle with showing them respect. Consider a code word or reminder that family members can use when that sharp tone is used. Eventually, you will catch it before you will need to be told. 

Continue to emphasize your child's interests and strengths. 
     Part of your teen's grief process is that the activities, social connections, and past infrastructure that she adored are not available right now. Now is the time to put on your creative hat. What did your son enjoy about hockey? Why was there a spark when your daughter steps on stage? How can you tap into those sources of happiness? Identifying and harnessing strengths is invaluable and produces positive energy while reducing the feelings of being trapped.

Collaborate and pick a daily activity to cope with frustrations and emotions. 
     Each day that is unproductive or spent in solitary can potentially be a day that brings disappointment. Teens are notorious for rejecting advice, but if shrouded in fun, they may be amenable. When your teen is in an environment and in a mood to chat, jot down some ideas together. What activities can they do each day of the week or the month? Perhaps an athletic kid can do more outdoor activities.   A trip to the craft store can foster some much-deserved creativity. The point here is to build on strengths, develop new interests, and strengthen relationships. 

Parenting in a pandemic is not easy. Breaking the mold of same-old, same-old may be just the ticket to getting over the hump and creating the family ties that nurture each family member.   

Here we are six months into the shelter-in-place due to the COVID-19 pandemic.  Here are some fun and stimulating ways to get those mental gears moving during the Fall of 2020.
















​1.  Study a new language
Now is an excellent time to focus your attention on learning a new language.  With today's technology, learning a new language is easier than ever!  There are several free apps, like Duolingo and Babbel,  that help you to learn a new language.  All you need to do is select the app, download it, select the language you are most interested in learning, and dedicate some time each day to learning it. 

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2.  Start a new workout routine
Believe it or not, a great daily workout can help stimulate the mind.  Not only will you keep your brain active, but you will keep your body healthy and moving while sheltering at home.  Yoga, sprints, learning new dance moves, walking, biking, kayaking, tennis are all great options.  Make it fun!  
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3.  Make some tea or hot chocolate
and work on a puzzle
Whether you prefer a rousing game of Sudoku or you are a master chess player, playing games helps to keep your mind stimulated and active.  Doing different puzzles will encourage you to use your brain in new ways.  

4.  Get outside
As we all know, fresh air and communing in nature is healthy for our minds, bodies, and souls.  Go for a nature walk and photograph interesting plants, explore a new nearby trail, do some gardening, or plant some new flowers or vegetables.

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5.  Give yourself permission to relax
While this may not seem like a way to stimulate your mind, rest is essential to mental stimulation and creativity.  Take a soothing bath, an afternoon nap, meditate for 10-15 minutes, or listen to relaxing acoustic music and find your mind and body rejuvenated.

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Sleep is crucial for memory consolidation, mood regulation, and general well-being.  In children, sleep is key for developing healthy cognitive, behavioral  and physical functioning.

But up to 30% of children ages two to five and 15% of school-aged children have trouble falling asleep or sleeping through the night (National Sleep Foundation, 2004). And fewer than 33% of teenagers are getting enough sleep (CDC, 2018).  

The ideal amount of sleep for healthy functioning differs from one person to the next.  But research shows that maintaining a regular sleep-wake schedule is a part of good sleep hygiene, regardless of age.  Everything from light exposure to mealtimes can influence circadian rhythms and the release of hormones such as melatonin, and ultimately affect sleep.

Insufficient sleep can severely impair a child's functioning causing daytime fatigue, poor health and weaker immune function.  Sleep-deprived children can suffer from emotional disturbances and emotional regulation problems.  When kids are tired, you tend to see more irritability, grouchiness, and emotional highs and lows.  When teenagers get insufficient sleep, it can be tied to depressive symptoms, irritability, and even suicidal thoughts and actions.

Sleep Interventions
Insomnia is the most common problem pediatric sleep psychologists treat, but its presentation differs dramatically across age groups.  

Infants and Toddlers
For infants and toddlers up to age 3, insomnia usually occurs because children learn to rely on a particular stimuli (such as a parent rocking them to sleep) to fall asleep and then cannot sleep on their own, a problem known as "sleep-onset association."

Psychologists consider a sleep-onset association "positive" if it does not require a parent to be present, such as a pacifier or white noise machine.  On the other hand, a "negative" sleep-onset association, while not necessarily harmful, involves parent-child interaction, including feeding, rocking, or pushing the child in a stroller.  

The first line of defense for insomnia is to establish consistent schedules and routines.  Children should have consistent and appropriate bedtimes and wake times, a regular bedtime routine, and a comfortable sleep environment.  

Bedtime Resistance 

When children transition from a crib to a bed, behavioral insomnia can start to manifest as bedtime resistance.  The child may refuse to get into bed, leave the bed frequently, or throw tantrums.  Alternatively, the child may want to sleep and try to do so but cannot easily settle his or her mind and body.

A simple and effective intervention is for families to create a healthy bedtime routine of 3 to 5 quiet activities that take a total of 20 to 45 minutes.  The routine should start at the same time each night and should flow in one direction.  For example, from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedroom and the activities should occur in the same order each night.  

Another approach is to use the "bedtime pass program," which reduces curtain calls.  A child receives 1 to 3 laminated passes permitting them to get out of bed for pre-approved activities such as a hug from a parent or a drink of water.  When the passes are gone, the child is no longer permitted to leave the bedroom.  The child is rewarded in the morning for any unused passes.  

Children respond very well to concrete limits  and the passes can help reduce anxiety at bedtime if they know they won't get in trouble for getting up. It is also helpful for parents to know when to put their foot down.

Teens and Sleep

The most common sleep problems for teenagers are delayed sleep-wake phase disorders and insomnia.  Adolescents with a delayed circadian rhythm can sleep well on a delayed schedule, from 2 a.m. to 11 a.m., but they struggle to sleep on a more traditional schedule that allows them to wake up early enough to attend school.  

Sleep psychologists typically use an approach called phase advance therapy to treat delayed sleep-wake phase disorder.  Cognitive-behavioral therapies for insomina (CBTI) can also help teens and older children who have trouble settling their minds and bodies to fall asleep.