Miranda J. Gabriel, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist PSY 19388
​510-459-1302
  • Home
    • Getting Started with Therapy
  • About Dr. Gabriel
  • My Psychotherapeutic Approach
    • Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
  • Services Offered
    • Child Therapy
    • Adult Therapy
    • Psychological Testing
  • Rates
    • Client Forms
  • Blog
  • Links & Resources
  • Contact

Grounding Techniques

7/22/2016

 
Grounding is a technique that helps keep someone in the present. They can help to reorient a person to the here-and-now and to stay in the present Grounding skills can be helpful in managing overwhelming feelings or intense anxiety. They help someone to regain their mental focus from an often intensely emotional state.

Grounding Exercise #1:

Begin by tracing your hand on a piece of paper and label each finger as one of the five senses. Then take each finger and identify something special and safe representing each of those five senses. For example: Thumb represents sight and a label for sight might be butterflies or my middle finger represents the smell sense and it could be represented by lilacs. After writing and drawing all this on paper, post it on your refrigerator or other safe places in the home where it could be easily seen and memorize it. Whenever you get triggered, breathe deeply and slowly, and put your hand in front of your face where you can really see it – stare at your hand and then look at each finger and try to do the five senses exercise from memory.

 Grounding Exercise #2:

• Keep your eyes open, look around the room, notice your surroundings, notice details.
• Hold a pillow, stuffed animal or a ball.
• Place a cool cloth on your face, or hold something cool such as a can of soda.
• Listen to soothing music
• Put your feet firmly on the ground
• Focus on someone’s voice or a neutral conversation.

Grounding Exercise #3:

Here’s the 54321 “game”
• Name 5 things you can see in the room with you. • Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor” or "breeze on my face")
• Name 3 things you can hear right now (“fingers tapping on keyboard” or “birds chirping")
• Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of)
• Name 1 good thing about yourself 

Gardening and Cooking with Kids

7/15/2016

 
Picture
Summer is a great time to try new fruits and vegetables.  It is also a great time to try a new cooking technique, such as barbecue or making a pie.  For children, cooking is a great way to understand where food comes from and how to cook it.  Cooking with children is also a wonderful way to connect around food and to impart family values.  In thinking about these ideas, I came across some sites for gardening and cooking with children that I thought might be useful for you.  I hope you enjoy them.

​Gardening at Home With Kids

A Family Affair: The Science Behind Creating Culinary Masterpieces with Your Young Chef

Finger-licking recipes that will sort out your fussy-eating toddler

7 Ways to Help a Picky Eater with Autism

Foods that Help You Sleep

Top 10 Ways to Keep Kids' Teeth Healthy

Surviving a Party When You Are Shy or Anxious

7/9/2016

 
Summer is finally upon us!  The days are longer and the weather in the Bay Area is gorgeous.  You are probably getting invites to a friend's pool party or a company barbecue.  Parties are supposed to be fun. But for shy individuals or anyone who gets anxious, trying to start a conversation in a room full of strangers can be a harrowing experience.  Don't fret!  With the right tricks, you can not only survive, but actually enjoy yourself.  

How do you mingle? How do you fit in? For shy people, introverted or extroverted, this scenario can be a nightmare. It might not even be a party. It could be a workshop, a networking event, or any other situation in which everyone seems to know someone but you. Here are a few tips and methods to help ease the anxiety—and maybe even have a little fun.

1.  Offer to Help The Host

Picture
At parties, this tip can be a lifesaver. Once you arrive, find the host, and offer your help. It’s a polite gesture, and it gives you something to do. Even if the host doesn’t need any help, he or she may sense your apprehension and give you a task to keep busy. A good host will probably also introduce you to a few people so you can get the conversation going.

Ask to chop some veggies, plate some food, or play bartender. It’ll keep you occupied, you won’t feel as awkward, and it will get your mind off the stress.

Another idea is to bring something that needs to be prepared.  This automatically gives you something to do once you arrive. You don’t want to spend the whole night making a cake from scratch, but a little guacamole won’t take long, and it gives you a chance to ease into the party. It might even be a good ice breaker; people may wonder what you’ve brought. You can explain to them what it is, what you’re doing, and how they can make it themselves.

2. Brush Up On Your Conversational Skills

For most people, small talk is not very fun or engaging. But we have to start somewhere. Here are a few tried-and-true ways to break the ice:
  • Ask a question: This is an easy way to start a conversation, because the response is necessary. Make sure it’s an open-ended question that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Or, if it can be answered with a simple yes or no, make sure it allows for a follow-up.
  • Compliments: When you compliment someone, they’ll often compliment you back, and this gets a conversation going. You can also ask a question after the compliment. “Nice earrings. Where’d you get them?”
  • Occasion, Location: Use the “Occasion, Location” rule to kick start a conversation. Ask about the occasion or the location of the event. You probably don’t want to go with the cliche, “come here often?” But “have you ever been here?” might work. “How do you know the host” is always a good one, too.

After that initial ice breaker, it might be time to extend the conversation to the next level. Here’s how to make this happen:
  • Share small details until one of them sticks: Once you’ve gauged each others’ interest with a bit of small talk, you’ll probably find there’s one topic that piques both your interests a little more than the others. Latch onto it and dive a little deeper.
  • Give specific answers: A great way to boost the conversation after a cliche ice breaker is to give a non-cliche answer. If someone asks “what do you do?” for example, come up with a specific answer. Maybe it’s a story about your job or an example of what you do on a day-to-day basis. If someone asks, “How do you know the host?” you might tell a funny anecdote about how you met. This gives the conversation more room to progress than the expected, “we went to college together.”
  • Arm yourself with relevant topics: Whether it’s current events, or just some fun background about the event, prepare yourself with a couple of interesting topics, then find a way to weave them into the conversation.

After you've got the  conversation going, try some of these tips to prevent the chat from becoming stale or going south:
  • React to what a person says in the spirit in which that that comment was offered: If they tell you a lighthearted joke, respond lightheartedly. This keeps the conversation enjoyable and simpatico.
  • Ask “getting-to-know you” questions: It’s important to ask the right questions. You want to get to know the person you’re talking to, but make sure the questions you’re asking are also relevant and appropriate. Take a genuine interest in learning about the person.
  • Don’t dominate the conversation: This is probably a no-brainer for shy folks, but sometimes it’s easy to start rambling when you’re afraid of any awkward silence. If the other person hasn’t said anything in a while, it’s time to stop and check yourself. If someone feels they’re in a one-way conversation, they’re probably thinking about how to bail.

Going to a party or event alone sounds intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. Prepare yourself with a few methods for starting a conversation, and you’ll be fine. Once you find just one person to talk to, the whole situation becomes a lot easier. After a while, you may even forget about how awkward you felt and start to enjoy yourself.

    Miranda J. Gabriel, Psy.D.

    A licensed clinical psychologist providing psychotherapy to children, teens, and adults in the San Francisco Bay Area.


    Categories

    All
    ADHD
    Adults
    Anxiety
    Asperger's Syndrome
    Autism
    Change
    Children
    Couples
    Grief
    Holiday Stress
    Homework
    Middle School
    Mindfulness
    Mingling
    Parenting
    Party
    Play
    Relationships
    Resolutions
    Resources
    Shopping
    Shy
    Special Needs
    Strategies
    Teenagers


    Archives

    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015


    Information and opinions found on this website
    are not substitutes for
    medical or psychological advice. Dr. Gabriel can't answer ​questions about someone's specific situation or ​give
    ​personal advice. Please see the Disclaimer section ​under the Contact Page for more information.

59 North Santa Cruz Avenue, Suite R
Los Gatos, CA 95030
​
​510-459-1302

dr.mgabriel@gmail.com

© 2021  Miranda J. Gabriel, Psy.D.
All Rights Reserved.

No photographs of actual clients are represented.