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 Free activities and splurges that are worth it! The coolest stuff for a staycation are in town and road trips for less than a tank of gas from San Francisco. Kids Out And About has tons of ideas for family travel, with places to explore, learn, and have fun! Check out the 101 Family Day Trips from San Francisco! Enjoy your summer in the Bay!   According to a 2017 Harvard study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, asking a question and then asking at least two follow-up questions will dramatically increase how likable you are. We converse with others to learn what they know, their information, stories, preferences, ideas, thoughts, and feelings, as well as what we know while managing others' perceptions of us. When we ask more questions, we are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation, and care. Asking a few questions, and actually listening to the answers, and people will like you more. It sounds too good to be true, but it is. Around 40% of our everyday speech is spent telling other people about our subjective experiences. Not facts or instructions or outcome-based conversations, which account for another chunk of our everyday speech, but what we think or feel. Talking about ourselves, whether in person or on social media, increases activity in brain regions associated with the sense of reward and satisfaction gained from food, money, or sex. We want and need to talk about ourselves. Therefore, when you actively help other people talk about themselves, they will see you as a great conversationalist. They will feel better about themselves, because they will feel like you care about them. Say you meet someone new. As soon as you learn a little about them, ask how they did or do it? How they felt? Or what they like about it, learned from it, or what advice they might have? Asking at least two follow-up questions shows you respect the other person's experiences, knowledge, opinions, etc. You respect them as a person. This makes you a more likable person and helps to build the foundation for a genuine relationship.   Friendship is hard: finding new friends, maintaining relationships, and navigating conflict are all difficult tasks. There’s no way around this fact. Especially as a 20-something, making friends seems harder and harder as responsibilities grow and free time shrinks. But another thing is undeniably true: friendship is worth the struggle. We are made for connection. I think the quality of our friendships can often be traced to the quality of the time we spend together. As we get older, friendship can sometimes be crammed into the space of lunch breaks or evening dinner plans. While there’s nothing wrong with these things, they don’t really build the kind of memories that lead to rich connections. As kids, we inherently knew this. We rode bikes with our friends, became mini entrepreneurs with thriving lemonade stands, and went on long adventures in our neighborhoods. As adults, our relationships center more around good conversation than the activities we do together. We need people we can discuss ideas with and people that can join us on active adventures. The richest friendships contain both ingredients. Here are some ideas to bring creativity to your friendships: TOUR YOUR OWN CITY Instead of going to your favorite lunch spot, look up popular activities in your town. No matter where you live, chances are there is a tourist attraction within a day’s drive that you (or your friend) may have never visited. VOLUNTEER TOGETHER When friends share fundamental values, they share a common bond that’s deeper than gossip or mutual friends. Google nonprofits in your town and choose one whose mission resonates with you. FIND AN EVENT OR CLASS TO DO TOGETHER Maybe you want to learn how to cook, have been dying to try goat yoga, or have been thinking of renting a plot in your local community garden. Learning a new skill or laughing your way through a yoga class might be the ticket to forging a lasting relationship. PLAN A TRIP SOMEWHERE NEW A friend of mine says that the best way to fast-track a friendship is to travel together. Travel not only forms beautiful memories, but it brings together the good and the bad: being stuck in a car together, learning who is a morning person and who is not, and trying not to get lost on the way to your Airbnb. Trips don’t have to be extravagant to be wonderful. Even in friendship, we can get stuck in a rut and start to feel the relationship become mundane. Rich connections are formed when we build them on adventure, on shared values, and on vulnerability. Have the courage to try something new with a friend. Even if you find that it’s not your cup of tea, at the end of the day, you’ll have a great story to tell.   Life can be hectic with never-ending to-do lists, stressful working conditions, and a feeling of always being on the go, especially during the pandemic. Even though the modern world is fast-paced, you can still learn to live a mindful life. Mindfulness is a skill that can be learned with some practice. The first step towards being mindful throughout the day is to bring mindfulness into everything you do. For example:
If you find this hard, try to put "mindfulness reminders" throughout the day to remind you where to bring your awareness. For example, you can put a note at your workspace to remind you to do some mindful stretching. Now for the specific tips to mindful living:
  The following information is meant for reflection. It is not meant to serve as a comprehensive list of everything that may help a child following a divorce.
For further information, consult with a trusted mental health professional. Hurtful To The Child
Helpful To The Child
 We are 11 months into the pandemic, and your child is feeling the effects. Social distancing, virtual school, the loss of sports, choir, band, and connections to friends are overwhelming your child or teen. His energy level is down. She hardly sees friends. All of their "free" time is on screens. They likely need of a few ways to find joy. Here are some tips to cultivate more joy with your child right now. Empathize. Do you remember what school was like when you were a kid? Were you more concerned with grades, friends, parties, dances, sports, or popularity? Yes, your teen might be acting as if COVID-19 was introduced only to ruin their life, but don't overreact. Take a moment to put yourself in her proverbial shoes. It really is a tough time, and she doesn't have the life experience you have. Whatever means you use, meditation, yoga, deep breathing, walks or runs, eating Oreos , try to get your emotions back into check. This balance will enable you to manage your own emotions and be empathetic to your child. If you are okay, they'll be okay. As parents, we are our children's social and emotional coping models. You, too, are tired of COVID-19, and you miss your friends. Don't try to pretend that all is well in the world. Holiday festivities were just cancelled or virtual. It is hard! Show your children you are human too. Share your frustrations. Commiserate. Hold a mini pity party with your child. Eat popcorn, dance, laugh, and try to embrace this time together. Promote a respectful tone and banter. We all have times when our tone does not reflect our intentions. Chances are you have used that sharp tone of voice with your children. Model using a tone that communicates respect, when humanly possible. Start by asking the whole family, including you, to pay attention to words and tone. This way the child who struggles the most is not singled out. The whole family can try to be more considerate. Be sure to share with your children what respectful looks like, and admit to them when you struggle with showing them respect. Consider a code word or reminder that family members can use when that sharp tone is used. Eventually, you will catch it before you will need to be told. Continue to emphasize your child's interests and strengths. Part of your teen's grief process is that the activities, social connections, and past infrastructure that she adored are not available right now. Now is the time to put on your creative hat. What did your son enjoy about hockey? Why was there a spark when your daughter steps on stage? How can you tap into those sources of happiness? Identifying and harnessing strengths is invaluable and produces positive energy while reducing the feelings of being trapped. Collaborate and pick a daily activity to cope with frustrations and emotions. Each day that is unproductive or spent in solitary can potentially be a day that brings disappointment. Teens are notorious for rejecting advice, but if shrouded in fun, they may be amenable. When your teen is in an environment and in a mood to chat, jot down some ideas together. What activities can they do each day of the week or the month? Perhaps an athletic kid can do more outdoor activities. A trip to the craft store can foster some much-deserved creativity. The point here is to build on strengths, develop new interests, and strengthen relationships. Parenting in a pandemic is not easy. Breaking the mold of same-old, same-old may be just the ticket to getting over the hump and creating the family ties that nurture each family member.   This time of year we usually gather with family and friends far and wide to enjoy the holidays. The coronavirus pandemic has altered some of those traditional rituals we usually engage in around the holidays. 2020 forced most of us to look around and consider all the little blessings in our lives, (sometimes hiding in plain sight,) but in relative abundance once we paid attention to them. I hope you make your own gratitude list for the tiny miracles that bring you joy each day. It’s a practice worth doing and can improve your mood during a typically difficult time. What are you grateful for this year? Nine in 10 adults derive happiness from small wonders such as a short line at the grocery store, a thoughtful text from a loved one, or a nice gesture from a stranger. Pay kindness forward to a passerby and you’ll find the benefits can be exponential. The Top 50 Little Joys of 2020 1. Seeing your family 2. Seeing your friends 3. A hug 4. Receiving an unexpected money rebate or refund 5. Getting into bed with fresh sheets 6. Receiving a compliment 7. Getting a great bargain 8. A smile from a stranger 9. Seeing a great sunset or sunrise 10. Receiving an unexpected gift 11. Finding money in your pocket that you forgot about 12. Feeling the sun on your face in autumn 13. Birds singing in the morning 14. The smell of freshly cut grass 15. Receiving a call or text from a friend or family member 16. Ticking off something which has been on your to-do list for a while 17. Seeing a rainbow 18. Your favorite song coming on the radio 19. Crunching autumn leaves on a walk 20. A long weekend 21. Great customer service 22. No line at your favorite store 23. Finishing a good book 24. Putting on comfy clothes at the end of the day 25. An unexpected ‘buy one get one free’ offer 26. When someone compliments you 27. Someone holding a door open for you 28. That smell just after it has rained 29. Waking up early and realizing you have hours left to sleep 30. Receiving a card or letter rather than a text 31. Waking up and realizing it’s the weekend when you thought it was a weekday 32. The feeling after sorting a drawer or cupboard 33. Getting a quick reply to a customer service query 34. The satisfaction of eating a homegrown vegetable / home-baked bread 35. Keeping on top of your bills 36. Getting a better deal on your energy and saving money 37. Finding a forgotten stash of chocolate 38. A moment of peace in the bath 39. A quick chat with your neighbor 40. Paying off an outstanding bill 41. The satisfaction of clearing out your wardrobe 42. Taking a nap 43. Getting the last item before it sold out 44. Having all the right ingredients for a recipe in the cupboard already 45. Your hair looking good when you wake up 46. Completing a grocery run without forgetting anything 47. Discovering a new series on Netflix 48. Relief of knowing your bills won’t increase 49. Free WiFi 50. The smell of soil when gardening   I am certain that, like me, you probably have a journal or two or ten lying around your place with pristine spines and pages. You probably bought the notebook with great intentions or perhaps it was gifted to you by a friend or family member. As the shelter-in-place continues and the weather gets colder, grab that journal, some colorful pens and a hot cup of cocoa. Hopefully, one or more of these ideas might tickle your fancy and promote your creativity!
  Here we are six months into the shelter-in-place due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are some fun and stimulating ways to get those mental gears moving during the Fall of 2020.
1. Study a new language Now is an excellent time to focus your attention on learning a new language. With today's technology, learning a new language is easier than ever! There are several free apps, like Duolingo and Babbel, that help you to learn a new language. All you need to do is select the app, download it, select the language you are most interested in learning, and dedicate some time each day to learning it. 6-tips-for-picking-up-another-language.html 2. Start a new workout routine Believe it or not, a great daily workout can help stimulate the mind. Not only will you keep your brain active, but you will keep your body healthy and moving while sheltering at home. Yoga, sprints, learning new dance moves, walking, biking, kayaking, tennis are all great options. Make it fun! increasing-your-energy-when-you-are-sheltering-in-place.html 3. Make some tea or hot chocolate and work on a puzzle Whether you prefer a rousing game of Sudoku or you are a master chess player, playing games helps to keep your mind stimulated and active. Doing different puzzles will encourage you to use your brain in new ways. 4. Get outside As we all know, fresh air and communing in nature is healthy for our minds, bodies, and souls. Go for a nature walk and photograph interesting plants, explore a new nearby trail, do some gardening, or plant some new flowers or vegetables. the-healing-power-of-gardens.html 5. Give yourself permission to relax While this may not seem like a way to stimulate your mind, rest is essential to mental stimulation and creativity. Take a soothing bath, an afternoon nap, meditate for 10-15 minutes, or listen to relaxing acoustic music and find your mind and body rejuvenated. mindfulness-apps-for-kids-and-teens.html  Good time management isn't just about choosing the right app. Managing our time wisely requires replacing some of our behaviors with healthier habits and routines. Here are 10 strategies to help you to be more productive and use your time well.
1. Learn How to and When To Say "NO" Saying "no" when we are used to saying "yes" to everything is uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier the more we do it. When asked if you can do something, practice saying "Let me take a look at my schedule and see if that is something I have time for." When we are assigned more than we know we can handle, find out the new assignment is a priority. Your boss may decide to delegate the assignment to someone else once it is clear that you already have enough on your plate. Impulsive responses get people into a lot of trouble, so pause, take a breath, and ask for time to consider the request. 2. Use the two-minute rule: If the task takes two minuter or less to complete, stop and do it now. Telling ourselves that we will do it later is a fib we often believe. All those things we say we will do later, which don't get done, take up too much "bandwidth" in our brains. Doing a simple task right away like capturing and labeling a new contact on our phone, saves a lot of time later when we have forgotten. 3. Limit and set clear boundaries for checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email, and newsfeeds. Restricting social media to a lunchtime activity or the commute home from work is a good rule of thumb, assuming you are not driving. To avoid being inadvertently distracted, move any app with a notification icon off your home screen. Be brutal and unsubscribe to emails, newsletters, and organizations that are not necessary and that wind up wasting your time. 4. Check your calendar and "to do list" morning, noon, and night. Keep your planning simple. Ask yourself what you want to get done by lunch. After lunch, re-assess and decide what you want to accomplish before you finish work for the day. When you get home, decide what you want to do for the evening. Simple is best and less is more are good rules to apply to time management and organization. 5. Double the time you think it will take to complete an organizational project. Many of us are poor at estimating how long things will take and almost all of us are poor at estimating the time needed for organizational projects. this is because organizing requires a lot of decision-making, and most of us complicate simple questions such as "Keep or toss it?" Having to stop in the middle of an organization project because we ran out of time is not a pretty sight, as most of what we are organizing is scattered all over the place. Make sure you have plenty of time to finish what you have started by doubling your estimate for completion. 6. Use a timer to stop what you are working on. If hyperfocus or losing track of time leads to missed appointments or arriving late, use a timer to stop what you are working on. 7. Establish a morning and an evening routine, and stick to them. When those two routines are consistent, other routines can be built around them. Deciding what not to do each morning and night is as important as deciding what the routine will consist of. Getting a good night's sleep and starting the day on time are necessary and healthy steps for better time management. Be patient and persistent on establishing consistency with getting up and going to bed on time. 8. Learn how and when to delegate. Do not fall into the trap of "If I want it done right, I'll have to do it myself," or "I need to do it because it will take me longer to show someone else how to do it." We have all heard these expressions, either spoken by ourselves or others. Be patient and take the time to mentor others. It can save you a lot of time in the long run. Don't just delegate down; delegate up by asking for help when you need it. If you are assigned something at work that you have never done before, time can be wasted trying to figure out how to proceed. Ask for more detailed instructions when to find pertinent information about the task, or an example you can use as a template. "Could you please walk me through the process?" is an appropriate question to ask. 9. Beware of multitasking, which can save time only if the tasks are simple and familiar. If the tasks are complex and unfamiliar, it is more time-efficient to do them one at a time. Helping your child with addition problems while cooking dinner you have made a hundred times is fine, but if you are trying out a new recipe and helping your teenager with calculus, chances are, you will burn dinner and your teen won't do well on the concept or quiz. 10. If you are in the middle of something, do not allow interruptions. Politely say, "Just a moment. I'm right in the middle of something," and continue with what you are doing until you are at a good stopping point and can re-direct your focus. Sometimes a hand signal works well. Constant interruptions ruin our efficiency, so even if you have an open-door policy, do not hesitate to put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on your door when you have a project that requires your sustained attention. It is difficult for us to minimize our internal distractions, so any boundaries we can set up to minimize external distractions helps us to become more time-efficient. |