Stress, Depression, and the Holidays

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, high expectations, family demands,
to name just a few. But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's okay to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Volunteer. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Find a local charity, such as a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter where you and your family can volunteer.  Participate in a giving tree or an adopt-a-family program.  Volunteer at a hospital to bring cheer to those who are sick.  Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. The barrage of holiday advertising can make you forget what the holiday season is really about.  Remind yourself that what makes a great celebration is time spent with loved ones, not store-bought presents, elaborate decorations or gourmet meals.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Keep practicing healthy habits. Try not to let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before large shopping trips or holiday parties. Get plenty of good sleep.  Get active- go for a run, do yoga, play tennis, go skiing.  Do some form of exercise every day.
9. Take time for yourself. There may be pressure to be everything to everyone. Remember that you are only one person and you can only accomplish certain things.  Sometimes self-care is the best thing you can do.  Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do.  Go for a long walk at night and stargaze, listen to your favorite music, read a book, or get a massage.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, seek help by talking to a mental health therapist.