We have all see and heard of the helicopter parent. The parent who hovers and makes most all decisions for their child. This article sheds light on why helicopter parenting is detrimental to your child and what you can actually do to foster independence and responsibility.
These TedTalks are a collection of talks to enjoy before welcoming a new little life into the world.
Enjoy! ![]() Parents are often hungry for advice on how to raise their children, seeking guidance on how to prompt kids to follow through with such everyday responsibilities such as doing chores and completing their homework, as well as insights on the best ways to help them stave off unhealthy behaviors, such as too much screen time and substance use. These scientifically supported sites and programs are among psychology's best for helping parents raise their kids. 1. InfoAboutKids.org This website is a clearinghouse of behavioral science on children and adolescents, developed by the Consortium of Science-Based Information on Children, Youth, and Families. Geared towards parents, educators, and behavioral health specialists, the site covers common parenting concerns, such as difficulties, drug and alcohol use, puberty, and much more. Every resource has been vetted by psychologists to ensure its advice is based on solid research and is bias-free. Perhaps most useful of all, the site can help parents determine for themselves which childhood behaviors are part of normal development and which might need a psychologist's attention. 2. EffectiveChildTherapy.org This website offers information on the symptoms of and treatment for behavioral and mental health problems in children and adolescents. In addition, Effective Child Therapy showcases the strong science behind today's successful treatments. 3. Act Raising Safe Kids Program Developed by APA's Violence Prevention Office, this eight-week class teaches positive parenting skills to parents of young children to foster safe, stable, and healthy environments and relationships that prevent children's exposure to abuse and adversities. Parents can also find tips on how to handle typical situations that they may encounter with their children such as bullying and tantrums. 4. Effective Parenting: The ABC's of Child Rearing This free online parenting course was devloped by Alan E. Kazdin, Ph.D, former APA President and Director of the Yale Parenting Center. This course provides 20 how-to videos explaining parenting techniques that address problem behaviors at both home and school. Kazdin instructs parents on the importance of speaking to their children in a calm or playful tone and allowing kids to make choices whenever possible. Scores of studies back these approaches. 5. Resilience Booster: Parent Tip Tool Developed by APA's Children, Youth, and Families Office and its Office on Socioeconomic Status, this site provides parents and caregivers with tips on how to boost children's resilience in the face of adverse experiences. This site is organized around the various places where children spend their time and outlines how each environment can help build resilience among children living in poverty. Psychologists and child development experts suggest that not over-scheduling your child over the summer is beneficial and can help them to develop their own interests and passions. Read this short article to learn more and a specific strategy to help with the "I'm bored. What can I do?" questions.
![]() Most everyone loves to travel. Getting away and making trips to your favorite vacation spot for a weekend with your family is a great way to escape the stress of everyday life. However, for families who have children or teenagers with autism or Asperger's, the thought of a vacation may evoke feelings of anxiety and fear. Traveling with children with autism may seem difficult, but when you plan your vacations ahead of time and with care, they can be an absolute treat and a great way to strengthen familial bonds. Here are a few tips to make your vacation a pleasurable one for your child and the entire family. Choose an ideal destination for your child Encourage your children to participate actively in the planning process and evaluate their current interests, attention span, sensory processing/information-processing abilities, and relate it to your upcoming trip. Choose a place where your child would still get to do activities that they typically enjoy. For example, if your child loves amusement parks, try taking them to Disneyland, if your child loves playing with water, consider planning a beach vacation. Make sure you’re not overwhelming your child by involving them in too many activities, as this would result in stressing out not just your child, but the rest of the family as well. Arrange proper identification for your child Parents of children with autism often struggle to manage their child’s wandering during vacations. Nearly half of children with autism tend to wander or run off, causing tremendous concern and anxiety to parents. Here are a few identification tools you can use
Predict your child’s needs Parents can typically anticipate their child’s needs. However, this becomes even more necessary with the child with autism. This is because children with autism typically struggle to accept changes in their routine, and a vacation requires a divergence from their usual schedule. This could lead to meltdowns and anxiety attacks. To reduce such incidents from happening when traveling, here are some ideas. Call the airline in advance to check for delays. This gives you enough time to make special accommodations. Work with your child on the need for patience for TSA lines at the airport as well as amusement park rides. Use social stories to help prepare your child for the trip including ordering food in restaurants, sleeping in a new bed in the hotel or resort, and tolerating long car rides. Prepare a checklist of essentials Prepare a checklist so you leave behind nothing that is important to your child. Always have reinforcements handy to reward your child for their good behavior. You can use soothers such as MP3 players a piece of cloth, string, or a toy to help keep your child calm. Pack their favorite snacks, toys, stuffed animals, books and assistive communication tools. Enlist your child's help so they can add necessary items or alert you if something is missing. Enact vacation scenarios with your child Preparations for an upcoming trip should start well in advance of the trip. It is recommended to start your groundwork at least 2-3 months before the vacation. Talk about the trip with your child every day by creating sequential picture stories of planned events and provide simple captions for each picture. Role-playing is one of the best ways to help children understand what they can expect to see while on vacation. Having meaningful conversations about the trip with your child or teenager will help to relieve stress and reduce problematic behaviors during the vacation. If you are a parent or work with children in any capacity, you have probably heard of Dr. Carol Dweck. She is a professor of psychology at Stanford University. Among her many professional accomplishments, she has written a best-selling book called Mindset.
Many people assume that superior intelligence or ability is a key to success. But more than 30 years of research has shown that an overemphasis on intellect or talent, and the implication that these traits are fixed or innate, leaves people feeling vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges, and unmotivated to learn. Teaching people to have "a growth mindset" encourages a focus on the process, rather than talent or intelligence and produces high achievers in school, work, and life. Parents and teachers can help teach a "growth mindset" in children by praising them for their persistence or strategies, rather than the child's intellect or talent. The key is to provide the child with specific praise versus generic praise. For example, telling a child "You are a good athlete," may actually undermine their abilities in the long run, but noting to that same child that "I liked how much you practice free throws to get better" demonstrates more specific praise on their effort, rather than the child's talent. Here are some other examples:
Invaluable praise like this can foster motivation and confidence in children and teens by helping them to focus on their specific actions that led to their success. Recently, I received an email from a reader of this blog who provided resources that they have found useful in helping parents of children with special needs. I appreciate their generosity in sharing these sites with me, and with their permission, I am sharing them with you. I hope that these resources are helpful to any parent, caregiver, or professional who works with or raises a child with special needs.
1. Understanding Dyslexia and How to Help Children Who Have It 2. The Importance of Self-Esteem for Kids With Learning and Attention Issues 3. Parenting Tips for ADHD: Do’s and Don’ts 4. How to Create an Autism-Friendly Environment for Kids 5. How to Discuss Puberty with Your Child Who Has Special Needs 6. Creating the Optimal Environment for a Kid with ADHD 7. Teens with ADHD: Recognizing Signs of Depression 8. ADHD and Addiction - What is the Risk? 9. Teaching the Person with Autism How to Drive 10. How to Prepare Your Child with Special Needs for the Back-to-School Transition Mobile health based apps can improve health outcomes and behaviors in children. In a meta-analysis in the Journal of American Medial Association Pediatrics, researchers analyzed 37 studies with almost 30,000 participants, each of which tested the efficacy of a mobile app designed to address a health issue in children such as diabetes, immunizations, asthma, obesity, among others. The apps used different methods and interventions, including providing personalized reminders and information, recording disease symptoms and offering interactive feedback. the researchers found that the apps significantly improved the health behaviors and outcomes in the children and they were particularly effective when caregivers were involved in the intervention.
![]() You know the scene. Your children are playing a board game and everything starts out fine. Then, the disucssion starts getting a little bit louder, and the next thing you know, they are in a heated battle over the game, who cheated, and threats they are never going to talk to each other again. After repeatedly separating the kids and reminding them that they should be nicer to each other, we think that we will never see the ends of these arguments. But reducing the number and the intensity of these conflicts is possible, if we strike the right bargain. Here's where a little knowledge of human behavior and game theory comes in handy. Psychologists have found that how children approach negotiations, depends in large part on notions of fair play. And game theorists have devised various ways to approach any negiotation, some of which are more likely to result in fair outcomes than others. Some scenarios require an authority figure, like a parent, to enforce them, but other scenarios are designed to structure the bargaining so that no enforcer is needed. With the right incentives, children can be taught to reach fair argeements all on their own. Everyone wins when children figure out for themselves that cooperation beats conflict, and decide to cooperate without threats from the parental authorities. They key is not that the children will coopeate every time; they will not. But if they know they must meet in negotiaton again, they might figure out that cooperating this time could win them better treatment from a sibling next time around. Cooperation is part of our biology. Spelke, a psychologist at Harvard, noted that adults prefer to share with three groups of people: close relations, people who have shared with us, and people who have shared with others becasue we like to reward generosity even if it is not directed towards us, what game theorists call "indirect reciprocity." Even kindergartners have a sense of fair play and will share more with specifica groups, family, friends, and people who have been generous with them. Be sure that the benefits of cooperation are in equal balance. If one child stands to gain more than another, then spite might rear its ugly head. When children realize that they have to negiotate repeatedly with one another, they figure out that cooperating this time could win them better treatment from a sibling next time around. To learn more about this topic, read The Game Theorist's Guide to Parenting: How the Science of Strategic Thinking Can Help You Deal with the Toughest Negotiators You Know- Your Kids by Paul Raeburn and Kevin Zollman (2016). |
Miranda J. Gabriel, Psy.D.A licensed clinical psychologist providing psychotherapy to children, teens, and adults in the San Francisco Bay Area. Categories
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